I was just watching the 2003 version Peter Pan with Jeremy Sumpter, but had to leave because watching 5 and 6-year-old call two 12-year-olds Mother and Father was disconcerting and morally disturbing.

I wish that Johnny Depp would have written in a few lines at the play saying that if Peter was so truly disturbed about the prospects of being a man, he should know that he could carry on being a child well into his 20s and it would considered socially acceptable as that “frat boy phase.” It would also be acceptable if he married a woman who would silently tolerate his childishness, until she left him for someone who eerily resembled his younger Neverland self.